By Aaron and Josh Danielpour, sons of Lisa Danielpour, and nephews of Vicky Keston, Co-Founders of Gooseling
We are very lucky to have an awesome Mom (Lisa Danielpour), Aunt (Vicky Keston), and Grandma (Joan Keston). We’re pretty much veterans at raising great parents at this point since Aaron is 20 years old (just finished my sophomore year of college), and Josh is 13 years old (about to have my bar mitzvah). We thought we’d share our tips with up and coming kids who are working on, that is enjoying being with their parents, for what makes an incredible Mom. When we look back on our childhood, here is what is most important to us:
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A Mom who listens. We mean really listen and not ignore what we’re saying when we are little just thinking it’s silly nonsense or that kids don’t have anything “real” to say. And a word about device: we all love them, but we should be as important as they are. -
A good cuddler and hugger, but knows when to back off.
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Who understands your problems and moves any mountain possible to find solutions and help you. But as you get older coaches you and asks good questions that helps you learn to solve it by yourself. Because if you fix everything for us, well, how can we be functioning, independent adults someday?
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A Mom who knows when she needs to be careful not to embarrass you in public – and really follows through. PLEASE!
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Is willing to advocate for you (especially if you have special needs or challenges), but as you grow up teaches you how to advocate for yourself.
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Gives you plenty of choice. Starting with do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red shirt, strawberries or apple, when you’re little to not telling you what to do all the time when you’re school aged.
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Helps influence our interests through encouragement rather than by pushiness. Watches for what we are excited about and encourages us rather than reliving their childhood through us.
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Having rituals together, like our Family Movie Night or special holiday traditions.
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Be hip with new important trends (like Facebook) as our great Mom does!
BONUS Tips for Being a World Class Aunt or Grandma
Our Aunt Vicky and Grandma really know what we like and what we DON’T like. She doesn’t try to get us to watch football when she knows we have no interest in organized sports. She goes out of her way to delight us.
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She doesn’t expect us to be an extrovert if we’re an introvert. She gets us. -
She adores us and makes us feel like a celebrity when we come to visit.
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She talks to us about what we’re interested in. Confession, sometimes she listens so patiently to us rattle on about our favorite video game or an invention we’ve thought of that’s kind of off the wall…so we can’t resist talking to her about them. She asks thoughtful questions about that wacky idea rather than dissing it out of hand.
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She gives us age appropriate gifts except when she gave us something awesomely cool that we were a little too young for that knocked it out of the ballpark. OK, this happened less often with our aunt once she became a Mom. Also, fair warning: though it’s tempting to ask a cool aunt or grandma for that special gift that perhaps your parents already say no to, they’re often savvy enough and seem to feel obligated to check with your parents first (no one’s perfect).
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An awesome aunt gives birth to adorable kids that become your adored cousins that you get to watch grow up. Did we mention our cousins Ben and Lili are super cute, creative, brilliant, and fun?
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Cool aunts come up with awesome, creative ideas like camping indoors when you stay with her while your parents go off to get some alone time. And they know tons about cool stuff like social media and programming.
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That’s why we count the days till we can see her again.
BONUS Advice for Being a One in a BILLION Grandma
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She is so soft and in love with us that we get away things that our Mom and her siblings would never have. Yes, being a grandchild is awesome.
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She loves us above all else, and never leaves us with any doubt.
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She knows what we love, what we hate, everything that matters to us, and remembers incredible little details about our childhood.
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Extra special cool points for having a cool career or hobbies. Our Grandma used to work for the Pentagon – rocking cool, right?! Now in “retirement” she works diplomats from around the world. She does not look like a traditional Grandma, she’s interesting, super smart, and beautiful.
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This is why we used to wait by the door when our parents said Grandma is coming to visit and have a hard time absorbing how many days it was going to be till she came.